Is it wrong for a married couple to have sex just for pleasure?

Almost an entire book in the Old Testament is dedicated to the subject
of passion and sex for pleasure. Song of Solomon is so detailed in its
intention of sexual pleasure in marriage that allegories were used to
tone it down and Hebrew boys couldn't read it until they were 12, when
they became men. God clearly intended sex in marriage to be
pleasurable.

First Corinthians 7:3-5 talks about not abstaining from sex in
marriage: "But because of immoralities, each man is to have his own
wife, and each woman is to have her own husband. The husband is to
fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her
husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the
husband does, and likewise also the husband does not have authority
over his own body, but the wife does. Stop depriving one another,
except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to
prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you
because of your lack of self-control."

The feelings of sexual longings and pleasure during sex were created
by God, and marriage was created to fulfill those longings. What Paul
is saying is to direct those feelings to your spouse and no other and
make sure that they are fulfilled within your marriage relationship,
not outside of it. Notice that Paul says if one of the partners is not
living up to his or her spouse's expectations, whether it be pleasure
or time, then both need to bring it before God so that one doesn't try
to find fulfillment outside of that marriage relationship. Because of
the existence of pornography and the perversion of sex over the years,
many people (especially Christians) get the idea that sex for pleasure
is wrong. We sometimes forget that God fashioned us for sex and
created the emotions to go with it; pleasure was intended. We
shouldn't let Satan and his lies keep us from enjoying our spouses or
fall into the counterfeit pleasure of sex that the world offers. God's
pleasure is real and satisfying; Satan's is counterfeit and empty.

What is the origin of Valentine’s Day, and should Christians celebrate it?

The first Valentine was posted around 1806. Almost one billion
Valentine's Day cards are sent each year on or near February 14 with
females purchasing 85% of the cards. This is second only to the number
of Christmas cards sent. The history is somewhat murky as to how
Valentine's Day has come to be what we now know and celebrate. Saint
Valentine served in third-century Rome. Emperor Claudius decided that
single men made better soldiers. Therefore, Claudius banned soldiers
from being married. One version of the story is that Valentine
continued to perform the weddings of young soldiers who were in love,
and Claudius had Valentine imprisoned. While imprisoned, Valentine
reportedly fell in love with the jailer's daughter. Valentine sent her
a card and signed it, "Love, your Valentine." Another version is that
Valentine defied Claudius by helping Christians escape the torture of
the Romans.

Valentine died in approximately A.D. 270. Others claim the church may
have decided to celebrate in mid February to "Christianize" the pagan
Roman celebration Lupercalia. The first Valentine sent in the United
States was in the 1840's by Esther Howgald. Most of us enjoy
"spoiling" a loved one on Valentine's Day. Sending gifts and cards
conveys love, affection, and friendship.

There is no biblical reason why Christians should not celebrate
Valentine's Day by giving their loved ones flowers, candy and/or
cards. As with celebrating any holiday, the decision should be between
the individual and God. Some people feel very strongly that observing
any secular holiday is wrong, while others see it as harmless. The
important thing to remember is that celebrating or not celebrating
holidays should not be a cause for pride or division among Christians.

Christian view of romance

Although there are no references to the word romance in the Bible,
there are 281 mentions of love. Since the dictionary definition for
romance is "ardent emotional attachment or involvement between people;
a love affair," these two terms can sometimes be used interchangeably.
But the true meaning of love, as defined in the Bible, has been
corrupted in the common usage of our English language and society.
Most often, love is confused with infatuation - that elated, "high"
feeling we get when we "fall in love." This kind of "love" is
something that lasts typically a short time and, unless replaced by
true love, results in broken relationships.

The Bible covers two types of love: agape and phileo. Agape love is
represented by God's love for us. It is a non-partial, sacrificial
love best demonstrated by the gift in John 3:16. "For God so loved the
world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in
Him will not perish but have everlasting life." This kind of love is
unconditional. The "Love Chapter" in 1 Corinthians deals more
explicitly with this. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not
envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not
self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always
protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never
fails" (1 Corinthians 13:4-8a). This passage is often quoted at
weddings and other celebrations of love.

Agape is a connection through the spirit. A true manifestation of this
requires a relationship with Christ. For without Him, agape love isn't
exhibited in its truest form. We, as humans, can't reach this level
alone. We need our Heavenly Father's Spirit in us, working through us.
"The Spirit produces love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness,
faithfulness, humility and self-control" (Galatians 5:22-23). Only
through that Spirit can we reach this goal.

The other kind of love, phileo, is considered "brotherly love." It is
usually based upon how others treat us and our feelings in any given
situation. It involves direct interaction and sometimes comes with a
price tag of expectation, wanting something back in return. It's a
demonstrative form of love offered through the soul. But, it's also a
command from God. "Let us love one another, because love comes from
God" (1 John 4:7).

Love is the attribute of God that means the most to us. If God didn't
love us, whom He created, He would have traded us in for a better
model long ago. Despite our many failures, God keeps working with us
(Romans 5:8). Time and time again, despite His patience being tested,
He demonstrates that love for His people. He only banned Adam and Eve
from the Garden of Eden. He didn't take their lives. He spared the
world because He found one man of upright faith in Noah. He rescued
Lot from Sodom before destroying that city. He made Abraham the father
of many nations and blessed him with his long-awaited son, despite
Abraham's impatience when he fathered a son through his wife's
servant.

In the same way God shows His love for us, He expects us to love Him
totally and to show love toward each other. "You shall love the Lord
your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all
your strength, and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself"
(Luke 10:27). Jesus spoke these words when the Pharisees questioned
Him about the greatest commandment of God. Although they tried to
trick Him, Jesus didn't change the law; He fulfilled it. His sayings
about love were not new. The emphasis was merely changed.

The relationships in our lives will either be governed by agape or
phileo love. When thinking in terms of romance, we allow the
manifestation of that agape love to pour out from our hearts. As a
result, we are eager to do everything we can to please the other
person and make that person happy. In a love relationship between a
man and a woman, the romance is the physical evidence of the love that
exists. When that relationship progresses to marriage, the love built
between the man and woman only grows deeper as the bond is made
stronger through the intimate union of body and soul. "For this reason
a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and
they will become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24). Biblical love elevates the
husband's affections for his wife to the point of loving his wife "as
his own body." It also instructs wives to submit to their husbands as
the head of the household (Eph. 5:25-29). But submission doesn't mean
subservience. On the contrary, when true agape love is manifested in
the marriage, the two will act as one, and both will love the other as
they love themselves. The tenderness and romance will come out of that
love.

By far, the best book in the Bible on this romantic and agape type of
love is the Song of Solomon. An oft-quoted and many times favorite of
romantics, this book demonstrates the parallel between the agape love
Christ has for His church and the deep, abiding love a husband has for
his bride. The lover and beloved exchange dialogue with each other,
and the beloved speaks with her friends. Every passage attests to the
deep and abiding love between the lover and beloved. The two are so
consumed with that love that it fills them and gives them strength to
face each new day. They find comfort and solace in each other's arms
and are incomplete without each other. Being together excites them,
and when they're apart, they anticipate their reunion.

But, above everything else that is demonstrated in God's Word, it's
important to keep in mind that love/romance is an action. It's not
passive, and it's not a feeling. It's a verb. It requires you to do
something in order to bring it to pass. It also requires that you put
the other person's wants and desires above your own. Whenever you need
a reminder, go back and read 1 Corinthians 13. And remember, you don't
have to do it alone. God's Spirit will work through you. All you have
to do is ask.

What does the Bible say about flirting?

The Bible does not specifically talk to us about whether or not
flirting is wrong, so what we should do is examine the definition of
flirting. According to Merriam-Webster, flirting is "a) to behave
amorously without serious intent, or b) to show superficial or casual
interest or liking." It is synonymous with the word trifle, which is
something of little value. The next thing we should examine is what
people are usually trying to accomplish when they flirt. Are they
trying to get attention from others, whether it is negative or
positive? Are they attempting to show sexual interest or attraction?
Do they see it as "innocent fun," even if they or the other person is
involved with someone else, even married?

Having casual contact with someone while purposely entertaining sexual
undertones can be dangerous for us spiritually. Although most people
believe that as long as nothing physical takes place, what goes on in
our minds is irrelevant, the Bible tells us otherwise. "But I say,
anyone who even looks at a woman with lust in his eye has already
committed adultery with her in his heart. So if your eye – even if it
is your good eye – causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away.
It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole
body to be thrown into hell" (Matthew 5:28-29).

Sin begins in our minds and then moves to our hearts. Matthew 12:35
tells us that "a good person produces good words from a good heart,
and an evil person produces evil words from an evil heart." It is a
fact that whatever we surround ourselves with, whatever we indulge
ourselves in, and whatever we fill our minds with is what we will
become. This is why Philippians 4:8 says, "Fix your thoughts on what
is true and honorable and right. Think about things that are pure and
lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy
of praise."

Although flirting is almost always described as "harmless," it rarely,
if ever, actually is. The first thing to consider is what people
generally think about those who flirt. A woman who flirts, for
example, will develop a reputation as being promiscuous. She will find
that other women look at her as a threat and take an instant disliking
to her. A man who flirts will be viewed as a womanizer who is not
interested in serious relationships. Anyone who flirts may enjoy the
attention, but the interest shown to that person is almost exclusively
sexual and will probably lack any sense of respect.

The Bible tells us that we are to be a good example, showing others
the love of Christ through our behavior (Ephesians 5:1-2). It is
possible that a man or woman who is being flirted with has been
struggling with lustful thoughts themselves. When a person of the
opposite sex is hanging on them, winking at them, touching them, or
showing off their body to them, it will make the person's struggle all
the more difficult. The Bible strongly warns us against tempting
others to sin (Matthew 18:7). We should do all we can to bring others
into God's Kingdom and never do anything that would cause a person to
stumble in his Christian walk (Romans 14:21). First Corinthians 10:31
reminds us, "Whatever you eat or drink or whatever you do, you must do
all for the glory of God."

Agape love

The Greek word agape is often translated "love" in the New Testament.
How is "agape love" different from other types of love? The essence of
agape love is goodwill, benevolence, and willful delight in the object
of love. Unlike our English word love, agape is not used in the New
Testament to refer to romantic or sexual love. Nor does it refer to
close friendship or brotherly love, for which the Greek word philia is
used. Agape love involves faithfulness, commitment, and an act of the
will. It is distinguished from the other types of love by its lofty
moral nature and strong character. Agape love is beautifully described
in 1 Corinthians 13.

Outside of the New Testament, the word agape is used in a variety of
contexts, but in the New Testament it takes on a distinct meaning.
Agape is used to describe the love that is of and from God, whose very
nature is love itself: "God is love" (1 John 4:8). God does not merely
love; He is love itself. Everything God does flows from His love.
Agape is also used to describe our love for God (Luke 10:27), a
servant's faithful respect to his master (Matthew 6:24), and a man's
attachment to things (John 3:19).

The type of love that characterizes God is not a sappy, sentimental
feeling such as we often hear portrayed. God loves because that is His
nature and the expression of His being. He loves the unlovable and the
unlovely, not because we deserve to be loved or because of any
excellence we possess, but because it is His nature to love and He
must be true to His nature.

Agape love is always shown by what it does. God's love is displayed
most clearly at the cross. "God, being rich in mercy, because of the
great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our
trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been
saved" (Ephesians 2:4–5, ESV). We did not deserve such a sacrifice,
"but God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still
sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8). God's agape love is
unmerited, gracious, and constantly seeking the benefit of the ones He
loves. The Bible says we are the undeserving recipients of His lavish
agape love (1 John 3:1). God's demonstration of agape love led to the
sacrifice of the Son of God for those He loves.

We are to love others with agape love, whether they are fellow
believers (John 13:34) or bitter enemies (Matthew 5:44). Jesus gave
the parable of the Good Samaritan as an example of sacrifice for the
sake of others, even for those who may care nothing at all for us.
Agape love as modeled by Christ is not based on a feeling; rather, it
is a determined act of the will, a joyful resolve to put the welfare
of others above our own.

Agape love does not come naturally to us. Because of our fallen
nature, we are incapable of producing such a love. If we are to love
as God loves, that love—that agape—can only come from its Source. This
is the love that "has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy
Spirit, who has been given to us" when we became His children (Romans
5:5; cf. Galatians 5:22). "This is how we know what love is: Jesus
Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives
for our brothers and sisters" (1 John 3:16). Because of God's love
toward us, we are able to love one another.

What does the Bible say about restitution?

Restitution is a biblical concept, and there are passages in both Old
and New Testaments that reveal the mind of God on this subject. In the
Old Testament, the Israelites were under the Law, which specified
restitution in a variety of circumstances: "If a man steals an ox or a
sheep and slaughters it or sells it, he must pay back five head of
cattle for the ox and four sheep for the sheep. . . . A thief must
certainly make restitution, but if he has nothing, he must be sold to
pay for his theft. If the stolen animal is found alive in his
possession—whether ox or donkey or sheep—he must pay back double. If a
man grazes his livestock in a field or vineyard and lets them stray
and they graze in another man's field, he must make restitution from
the best of his own field or vineyard. If a fire breaks out and
spreads into thornbushes so that it burns shocks of grain or standing
grain or the whole field, the one who started the fire must make
restitution. . . If a man borrows an animal from his neighbor and it
is injured or dies . . . he must make restitution" (Exodus 22:1, 3-6,
14).

Leviticus 6:2-5 covers other situations in which the stolen property
is restored, plus one fifth of the value. Also of note in this
passage, the restitution was made to the owner of the property (not to
the government or any other third party), and the compensation was to
be accompanied by a guilt offering to the Lord. The Mosaic Law, then,
protected victims of theft, extortion, fraud, and negligence by
requiring the offending parties to make restitution. The amount of
remuneration varied anywhere from 100 to 500 percent of the loss. The
restitution was to be made on the same day that the guilty one brought
his sacrifice before the Lord, which implies that making amends with
one's neighbor is just as important as making peace with God.

In the New Testament, we have the wonderful example of Zacchaeus in
Luke 19. Jesus is visiting Zacchaeus's home, and the people who know
the chief publican to be a wicked and oppressive man are beginning to
murmur about His associating with a sinner (verse 7). "But Zacchaeus
stood up and said to the Lord, 'Look, Lord! Here and now I give half
of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of
anything, I will pay back four times the amount.' Jesus said to him,
'Today salvation has come to this house, because this man, too, is a
son of Abraham. For the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was
lost'" (verses 8-10). From Zacchaeus's words, we gather that 1) he had
been guilty of defrauding people, 2) he was remorseful over his past
actions, and 3) he was committed to making restitution. From Jesus'
words, we understand that 1) Zacchaeus was saved that day and his sin
was forgiven, and 2) the evidence of his salvation was both his public
confession (see Romans 10:10) and his relinquishing of all ill-gotten
gains. Zacchaeus repented, and his sincerity was evident in his
immediate desire to make restitution. Here was a man who was penitent
and contrite, and the proof of his conversion to Christ was his
resolve to atone, as much as possible, for past sins.

The same holds true for anyone who truly knows Christ today. Genuine
repentance leads to a desire to redress wrongs. When someone becomes a
Christian, he will have a desire born of deep conviction to do good,
and that includes making restoration whenever possible. The idea of
"whenever possible" is crucially important to remember. There are some
crimes and sins for which there is no adequate restitution. In such
instances, a Christian should make some form of restitution that
demonstrates repentance, but at the same time, does not need to feel
guilty about the inability to make full restitution. Restitution is to
be a result of our salvation—it is not a requirement for salvation. If
you have received forgiveness of sins through faith in Jesus Christ,
all of your sins are forgiven, whether or not you have been able to
make restitution for them.

What are the different types of fasting?

Usually, fasting is the abstaining of food for a certain period of
time. There are different types of fasting in the Bible, however, and
not all of them involve food. Many people in the Bible fasted,
including Moses, David, and Daniel in the Old Testament and Anna,
Paul, and Jesus Christ in the New Testament. The recognition of the
importance of fasting has continued to today, with many important
figures in Christian history attested to fasting's value ans
throughout church history fasted and witnessed to its value.

Biblical fasting is often closely linked to repentance, as in the
examples of David, the nation of Israel, and the city of Nineveh.
Fasting is also related to passionate prayer, as in the examples of
King Jehoshaphat and Queen Esther. Biblical fasting comes from a
humble heart seeking God (Isaiah 58:3–7). John MacArthur comments on
Isaiah 58: "The people complained when God did not recognize their
religious actions, but God responded that their fastings had been only
half-hearted. Hypocritical fasting resulted in contention, quarreling,
and pretense, excluding the possibility of genuine prayer to God.
Fasting consisted of more than just an outward ritual and a mock
repentance, it involved penitence over sin and consequent humility,
disconnecting from sin and oppression of others, feeding the hungry,
and acting humanely toward those in need."

The regular fast is done by abstaining from all food, both solid and
liquid, except for water. This is the type of fasting Judah's King
Jehoshaphat called for when his country was confronted with invasion
(2 Chronicles 20:3). The Lord defeated their enemies, and the men of
Judah blessed the Lord (2 Chronicles 20:24–27). After the Babylonian
Captivity, the people returning to Jerusalem prayed and fasted, asking
God for His protection on their journey (Ezra 8:21). The Lord Jesus
fasted during His forty days in the wilderness being tempted by Satan
(Luke 4:2). When Jesus was hungry, Satan tempted Him to turn the
stones into bread, to which Jesus replied, "Man shall not live by
bread alone" (Luke 4:4).

Another type of biblical fasting is the partial fast. The prophet
Daniel spent three weeks fasting from certain foods. In Daniel 10, the
prophet says, "I, Daniel, mourned for three weeks. I ate no choice
food; no meat or wine touched my lips; and I used no lotions at all
until the three weeks were over" (Daniel 10:2–3). Note that Daniel's
fast to express his grief on this occasion only omitted "choice" food,
and it also involved relinquishing the use of oils and "lotions" for
refreshment. Today, many Christians follow this example and abstain
from certain foods or activities for a short time, looking to the Lord
for their comfort and strength.

Also mentioned in the Bible is the absolute fast, or the full fast,
where no food or water is consumed. When Esther discovered the plan
for all the Jews to be killed in Persia, she and her fellow Jews
fasted from food and water for three days before she entered the
king's courts to ask for his mercy (Esther 4:16). Another example of
an absolute fast is found in the story of Saul's conversion. The
murderous Saul encountered Jesus in His glory on the road to Damascus.
"For three days he was blind, and did not eat or drink anything" (Acts
9:9). Immediately following that time of blindness and fasting, Saul
dedicated his life to preaching Jesus Christ.

In the cases of Esther and Saul, the absolute fast only lasted three
days. However, Moses and Elijah took part in miraculous, forty-day
absolute fasts. When Moses met God on the mountaintop to receive the
tablets of stone, he ate no bread and drank no water (Deuteronomy
9:9). And, after Elijah defeated the prophets of Baal on Mt. Carmel,
infuriating Queen Jezebel, Elijah fled for his life and spent forty
days of fasting in the wilderness (1 Kings 19).

The Bible also mentions a sexual fast, although not by that name. In
Exodus 19:15, the people of Israel were to prepare for their encounter
with the Lord at Mt. Sinai, and part of their preparation was to
abstain from sexual relations for three days. And in 1 Corinthians 7:5
Paul says that a married couple can mutually agree to abstain from sex
for a short period of time in order to devote themselves to prayer.
But then they are to "come together again so that Satan will not tempt
you because of your lack of self-control."

The purpose of fasting is not to get God to respond as a genie in a
bottle to grant our every wish. Fasting, whether it is regular,
partial, absolute, or sexual, is a seeking after God's heart, all
other blessings and benefits being secondary to God Himself. This is
what sets apart biblical fasting from other religious and cultural
practices around the world.