What does the Bible say about raising children?

God created the family. His design was for a man and a woman to marry
for life and raise children to know and honor Him (Mark 10:9; Malachi
2:15). Adoption is also God's idea, and He models this in His adoption
of us as His children (Romans 8:15, 23; Ephesians 1:5). Regardless of
the means by which they enter a family, children are a gift from God
and He cares about how they are raised (Psalm 127:3; Psalm 34:11;
Proverbs 23:13–14). When God gives us gifts, He also gives clear
instructions about their use.

When God led the Israelites out of bondage, He commanded them to teach
their children all He had done for them (Deuteronomy 6:6–7; 11:19). He
desired that the generations to come would continue to uphold all His
commands. When one generation fails to instill God's laws in the next,
a society quickly declines. Parents have not only a responsibility to
their children, but an assignment from God to impart His values and
truth into their lives.

Several places in Scripture give specific instructions to parents
about how to raise their children. Ephesians 6:4 says, "Fathers, do
not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the
discipline and instruction of the Lord." There are several ways
parents might provoke their children to anger. Some parents set
impossible standards so that a child despairs of ever achieving them.
Some parents tease, ridicule, or humiliate their children as a means
of punishment, which does nothing but provoke them to anger.
Inconsistency can also provoke to anger as a child is never sure about
the consequences of his actions. Hypocrisy provokes children to anger
when parents require behavior from children that the parents are not
choosing for themselves.

To "bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord" means
that parents should train their children the way God trains us. As a
Father, God is "slow to anger" (Numbers 14:18; Psalm 145:8), patient
(Psalm 86:15), and forgiving (Daniel 9:9). His discipline is designed
to bring us to repentance (Hebrews 12:6–11). His instruction is found
in His Word (John 17:17; Psalm 119:97), and He desires that parents
fill their homes with His truth (Deuteronomy 6:67).

He also disciplines His children (Proverbs 3:11; Hebrews 12:5) and
expects earthly parents to do the same (Proverbs 23:13). Psalm 94:12
says, "Blessed is the one you discipline, LORD, the one you teach from
your law." The word discipline comes from the root word disciple. To
discipline someone means to make a disciple of him. God's discipline
is designed to "conform us to the image of Christ" (Romans 8:29).
Parents can make disciples of their children by instilling values and
life lessons they have learned. As parents practice godly living and
make Spirit-controlled decisions (Galatians 5:16, 25), they can
encourage their children to follow their example. Proper, consistent
discipline brings a "harvest of righteousness" (Hebrews 12:11).
Failure to discipline results in dishonor for both parent and child
(Proverbs 10:1). Proverbs 15:32 says that the one who ignores
discipline "despises himself." The Lord brought judgment upon Eli the
priest because he allowed his sons to dishonor the Lord and "failed to
restrain them" (1 Samuel 3:13).

Children are a "heritage from the Lord" (Psalm 127:3). He places them
in families and gives parents guidance in how they are to be raised.
The goal of good parenting is to produce wise children who know and
honor God with their lives. Proverbs 23:24 shows the end result of
raising children according to God's plan: "The father of godly
children has cause for joy. What a pleasure to have children who are
wise" (NLT).